Grief doesn’t mean I lay in bed and cry all day. That’s not my style. I try to support other grieving mothers as much as I can, but nearing the two-year mark sometimes it’s a slow foggy process. I decided to make a video for Chad. Yes, I did a lot of crying as I worked through photos, and videos, some I’d never seen. When I got to his graduation and the camera was on him as his choir sang these words: “Somewhere in the Night. I’ll Be Here For You” that took me under. That was nearly three months ago and I’m still crawling from the pit. I’m working on many different projects, but my most important project will be what I leave behind.

This quote came to me when I was having a particularly bad day. I miss Chad so much, and the pain of how he left this earth and why, and the cruel reactions I’ve received for only wanting to talk about the truth is in God’s hands. Thus far, I’ve kept my integrity. I don’t hate anyone, and I keep forgiving, but I’m human and only God can bring me through this.
Pretender