I haven’t posted in a while not because I don’t have things to say, because I certainly do. In fact, many times my brain must resemble Mount St. Helens before the May 18, 1980 eruption. There are moments here and there when suddenly I’m hit with a burst of ideas and I’m off in a whirl of determination, ready. But, for the most part, it’s short-lived and the energy is sucked right out of me. It’s been said that one day in the life of a bereaved mother is like a week of hard labor.
Still, I never sit and mope, I’m always busy even if it’s watching a movie, playing games, cleaning, or journaling. The other day I went to the book store and for the first time since the loss of my son, I bought a paperback book. That was me pushing myself to get on with it. And so I am. Here is a poem I saw today and think it’s not only important for a parent who’s lost a child, but for those who don’t understand that losing a child is not something you just get over one day. I can’t imagine we ever do.
A PAIR OF SHOES
I am wearing a pair of shoes
They are ugly shoes
Uncomfortable shoes
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can
take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them
I get funny looks wearing these shoes
They are looks of sympathy
I can tell in others eyes they are glad they are my shoes
and not theirs
They never talk about my shoes
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them
uncomfortable
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them
But once you put them on, you
can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the
only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk
in them
Some learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite
as much
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before
they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserved to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman
These shoes have given me the
strength to face anything
They have made me who I am
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child
Author Unknown
