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Color of loss

God knows the story of our hearts #story #grief #prayer

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~ There is no love stronger than a mother’s love for her child ~

ChaddieBestSonGod

I think God knew I’d need this text after Chad was gone, and why only months before he died he sent this to me (I think talking into the phone). Although Chad was always thankful for the relationship we had, no, I wasn’t a perfect mom, but I loved the best any mom could love.

Chad was a wonderful son, considerate, loving, respectful, always wanting to make sure I was okay. He was such a good boy. I don’t ever remember having to scold him. Well, maybe a couple of times when he and his brother were squabbling. Actually, all my children were very well behaved. Chad deserved the very best in life; he gave so much; I pray that’s what he has now. God knew my heart would break into a million pieces; he knows everything, and yet decided to allow this burden. At this point I can only give it to Him.

Below is the first part of the text from above (he usually talked into the phone:

Heart like Paul

By Kat

My true writing career began thirty some years ago while going through a valley, alone. I’ve come to believe that we all have a purpose in life, our path to walk.

Now that my middle son Chad Engstrom died on October 14, 2014, the rest of my life is not lived for myself, but to leave his legacy, not only because he was my son, but because of his beautiful soul.

May God guide me…. For our earthly selves are far from perfect, but may we be perfect in His love.

4 replies on “God knows the story of our hearts #story #grief #prayer”

Dear Kathleen,

Your post today brought the following to mind for me. It was written by E.E. Cummings, I think he wrote it with you in mind. xo

Here is the deepest secret no one knows. Here is the root of the root… and the bud of the bud… and the sky of the sky of a tree called life… which grows higher than the soul can hope… or mind can hide. It is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

Oh Patricia that poem is beautiful. Your heart my dear friend is as big as the sky and that’s why you have a way of soothing one’s soul. I’m going to have to check out his poems. Thank you and hugs to you…XO

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