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Color of loss

Chad’s 2nd birthday in heaven. #tears #pray #God #child loss

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I’ll never forget the first time I laid eyes on your beautiful face. You stopped crying when the nurse laid you in my arms. Thinking back now, I feel that same ache when I think of how you cried as they took you away.

How can it be you’ve been gone two birthdays now & in five months it will be two years since you last closed your eyes. I wish I’d been there to stop that horrible thing from happening.

How was I to know two years ago today you’d read the last birthday card I’d give to you? I used to take such care in picking out your birthday cards, cards that said, my son. You’re still my son, but I can’t see you, or hug you, or talk to you. How is a mother’s broken heart supposed to deal with this?

May 7 Happy Birthday 2ne Heaven

0 - On Chad's Birthday

 

 

 

 

 

0 - Chad is Imitating hulk

0 - On 7 Chad's Birthday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOTE My comments should be working again. Sorry for any inconvenience. And thank you for stopping by.

By Kat

My true writing career began thirty some years ago while going through a valley, alone. I’ve come to believe that we all have a purpose in life, our path to walk.

Now that my middle son Chad Engstrom died on October 14, 2014, the rest of my life is not lived for myself, but to leave his legacy, not only because he was my son, but because of his beautiful soul.

May God guide me…. For our earthly selves are far from perfect, but may we be perfect in His love.

2 replies on “Chad’s 2nd birthday in heaven. #tears #pray #God #child loss”

There are no words that I can say to make you feel better. Just know that I think of you often and pray for you daily. I hope that helps.
I think this post is a beautiful tribute to Chad, and I know he see’s it.

Always thinking of you with love.

xoxo

Thank you Patricia. It’s “funny” how we mothers who’ve lost a child(s) need to keep them alive in any way we can. If I had no way of expressing this I don’t know how I’d make it. Your continuing support means so much. Wish we could meet this side of heaven, but if not we will both see our children together. I can’t wait for you to meet Chad, and I’m so looking forward to meeting your twins. Maybe they’ve already met. I hope that’s the way it is.

It will be two years in October when Chad left this earth. Since around year one it’s become more difficult in some ways because of the reality of how long it will be before I see him again. If Jesus doesn’t come for a 1,000 years it may be that long, and also whether we sleep when we die or if our souls go directly to heaven. This is one reason why support is so vital. Thank you dear friend. Love you dearly. Kathleen

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